vulnerable

I caught myself altering some poses contrary to the teacher's instruction the other day, which is actually kind of a pet peeve of mine - when people just willfully do it out of some sense of competitiveness or irreverance. So, I examined my own motives.

Whenever she would tell us to clasp our hands, implying that we should lace our fingers together to, for example, pull our knee to our chest, I would rather layer my hands on the other, or in other cases where she intended we lace our fingers together, I would find a differnt way to clasp my hands or hook my fingers together. Long story short, I was doing that because in grappling, interlaced fingers are horribly vulnerable - sure, they might seem to provide a better grip, but all the opponent has to do is squeeze them together for a quick tap. Fingerbones don't like being crushed against other fingerbones.

In regards to the yoga, I realized that for me, to consciously decide to allow myself to lace my fingers together might be a sign of consciously choosing to allow myself to be vulnerable. And to me, that is a positive change to be made, and hopefully will help me develop further in my practice, in however subtle a manner.